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Hercule Poirot's
MACHINE FOR PIGS

This is a scenario for Call of Cthulhu or similar systems. It is a loose parody of Hercule Poirot's Christmas and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs, though it is mainly about the midlanders' insatiable lust for pork.

Despite the name, it can be played with any set of investigators.

⚠ī¸ Warning: Any references to real entities, history or geography are likely to be wildly inaccurate or misleading. In particular the stuff featuring Egyptian history wants going over to make it better informed and to avoid the sort of Orientalism you tend to find in works such as this, assembled from tropes and wikipedia. These materials are my notes from running the scenario precisely once and have not been substantially edited; they are provided as-is.

Premise

You, a prominent investigator and/or writer, have been staying at one of the colleges at Oxford University on professional business over the Christmas holiday. You receieve summons to the country estate of Stjohn Cavendish, wealthy owner of a pork pie factory, who fears for his life...

Contents

Character List

Investigators

See below.

Cavendish household

Stjohn Cavendish, financier & industrialist

Miriam Cavendish, his wife, American, archaeologist, deceased.

Geoffrey 'Jeffers' Butler, manservant

Gertrude White, housekeeper

Stjohn Cavendish Jnr, a Tory MP

Anne Cavendish, his wife

Reginald Cavendish, a gambler

Emily Cavendish, an adventurer

Barry Lovegood, her partner, a magician

Cavendish Works

Recalcitrance Emmett, an engineer

Background

Timeline

Beneath the City of the Dead

The Dudley Barrow

The Statue

The statue depicts a man and a woman with the heads of bigs, bearing a chalice from either side. Stjohn keeps it in the dining room in pride of place, it being a gift from Miriam. Other residents of the house hate it; they swear they feel a strange uneasiness around it - but that could be due to what happened with Miriam... Some say that since it appeared in the dining room, meat would disappear from their plates when they weren't looking ... and that everything now tastes like pork. Stjohn swears this is simply because the cook refuses to cook anything else, it being in such plentiful supply.

The statue is the key which was used to lock the Entity in its pocket dimension, fashioned by the pig cult of Cairo shortly before their demise. It was to be their salvation, yet they only managed a single turn of the lock, leaving the Entity partially trapped. With enough sacrifice, the lock could be fully closed -- or fully opened. The presence of the Entity emanates from the key - wherever the key goes, the door is present too.

When blood is poured into the chalice, it vanishes, consumed by the Entity. With enough blood, the Entity can be made sluggish and the key can be turned. Yet feeding the Entity is incredibly dangerous; it is momentarily strengthened, and complex rituals are needed to keep it in check. The tunnels under Cairo followed this design - as does the Factory.

The Investigators

Feel free to substitute a different set of investigators. The only real requirement is that they be prominent detectives or investigators of strange events. We used the following; you would need to make your own character sheets for them.

Agatha Crane

Parapsychologist and paranormal investigator, from Mansions of Madness 2nd Edition.

On sabbatical at the University of Oxford, writing a book on the paranormal.

Wilbur Crane

Her husband, see Mansions of Madness 2nd Edition.

Hercule Poirot

Famous detective.

Skeptical of the paranormal, as it does not gel with his orderly and rational view of the world, but respects use of the scientific method.

Miss Lemon

His secretary.

Fascinated by the occult.

Inspector Japp

The only policeman in the entire country. Some say there are multiple copies of him. Will likely arrive if the police become involved.

Characters

Miriam Cavendish

Archaeologist from Boston, Massatchusetts.

In 1924, Miriam Cavendish returned from an archaeological expedition beneath the City of the Dead in Cairo, Egypt. The dig had found an extensive network of subterranean tunnels, deeper and more ancient than the Islamic necropolis above. Among the artifacts recovered, some of the most fascinating were the reliefs of pigs and pig-headed people - previously the pig was not thought to be held in such reverence by the ancient Egyptians. More curious still, several human skeletons appeared to have been combined in mummification with those of pigs. Miriam brought back with her a small statue along with several stone tablets covered in indecipherable text.

Miriam's dig was funded by the new American University at Cairo, which was seeking to raise its profile by making an archeological discovery. The initial discovery was made when a tomb floor collapsed in the city of the dead, revealing a much older network of tunnels which had been bricked up some time around 600AD. Some, particularly a group of scholars from al-azhar university, were not keen on a dig going ahead, argueing that the tunnels should remain sealed. But modernisers won out and the exploration went ahead.

Return to Egypt

Miriam presented Stjohn with the statue as a gift, and he proudly displayed it in the dining room, where it sits to this day. She obsessed over the stone tablets, travelling back and forth to the dig at Cairo, and consulting experts in obscure and dead languages. When a later tablet was discovered, containing text in both the mysterious script and Arabic, she at last appeared to be making progress.

Descent into Madness

Those around her became alarmed by her behaviour; she was becoming more and more obsessive and withdrawn. She began to refuse vegetables and would eat only meat. One night, Miriam killed and butchered a maidservant with the aid of two other servants - who later claimed to have no memory of the incident (having been mesmerised by Miriam.) They fed the meat into the meat grinding apparatus of the newly opened factory, making pies from the resulting mince and consuming them. Having done this, they returned to their beds covered in gore. The human remains were quickly discovered by factory workers and the perpetrators, including Miriam, were arrested and hanged, the evidence against them all being incontrovertible.

The families of the victim and of the two accomplices blame the Cavendishes and their accursed works for what happened - the works was never popular owing to the commercial threat it posed to traditional pie making. And the workers are from out of town and keep to themselves.

In Hiding

Miriam is not dead and actually faked her death: she mesmerised the guards at the prison and took the place of the executioner. He lived alone, and as far as anyone was concerned he was still there going about his business. Miriam started a fire in the morgue where 'her' body was stored, and so nobody was able to identify her subsequently. As the executioner, she had a steady supply of human remains on which to feed, and additionally stalked the city of Leicester at night via the sewers.

Return

Shortly before the game begins a guard is reported missing - this is because Miriam has returned to the Cavendish estate to perform the ritual to free the Entity. She is now completely mad and wants revenge on Stjohn for reporting her to the authorities.

She is hiding out in the tunnels beneath the factory. A couple of workers have gone missing - she has killed them and is eating them.

She wants her notes from her study, which is why she has been breaking into the house. Eventually, she will find that what she needs is the idol, in order to release the Hunger from its prison. But Recalcitrance will already have stolen it!

Current state

Miriam is a ghoul who knows the Mesmerise spell.

Stjohn Cavendish

Wealthy man who made his fortune trading futures contracts using capital bequeathed to him by his uncle. After many years of success, including during the war, through a clerical error he came into posession of a large number of 'pork futures' which came due almost immediately. When life gives you pork, make pork pies; he is now a big name in the meat pie business and the pie works is his most profitable asset.

He is an amateur Egyptologist; he met his late wife Miriam at a lecture at the Natural History Museum. He financed her expeditions after she was cut off by Miskatonic University.

No 'mythos' knowledge as such; he does not understand the significance of anything he might have gleaned. But has a keen interest in antiquities and has a sharp mind.

Stjohn thinks he has seen the ghost of Miriam haunting the house at night. Locks have been found smashed, but nothing taken. The police found no other evidence of burglary. He doesn't know what to believe, but fears for his safety - could it be the families of the servants sent to the gallows exacting their revenge? He has therefore sent for the best detective and the best paranormal investigator to find out.

Geoffery 'Jeffers' Butler

Gertrude White

Stjohn Cavendish Jnr

A tory MP

Anne Cavendish

Reginald Cavendish

Emily Cavendish

Barry Lovegood

Recalcitrance Emmett

Recalcitrance offered to build a pork works for Stjohn at a knockdown price, and brings with him those of his people worst affected by the Hunger, so as to look after them.

He has followed Miriam's recent career with interest, and combs over it for hints of the rituals they used to subdue the entity - recognising that the ancient Egyptians were affected by the same Hunger as his fellows. The Factory is constructed as a great ritual device, following the pattern of the site at Cairo.

He warned Miriam anonymously not to publish the text of the tablet but this spurred her on - she took it to be a deception from a rival.

He has seen the tablet in the Dudley Barrow, being a scion of the pork cult there - but his people know by now not to read it. Since it is damaged, it is also less dangerous than the Cairo tablet.

Recalcitrance is running the factory as part of a ritual to contain the hunger, and wants to seal it away forever. He has made copies of Miriam's notes, and knows he needs the idol to complete the ritual.

His workers live in a nearby village called 'Domesday'. The village predates the works but its population has been doubled by the influx of workers. They live in a complex of barracks buildings reminiscent of a boarding house, and they are treated with some distrust by the locals. Their standard of living is spartan and their pay is low yet they are curiously loyal to Recalcitrance. They are directly employed by his company, the Emmett Works Co., which was contracted to build and run the factory. This arrangement results in a lot of value for money for Stjohn, so Recalcitrance's eccentricities are tolerated.

💡 Note: Whilst he is not actually a villain he is supposed to be a suspicious character and draw the attention of the investigators. He is prickly, secretive and unhelpful.

Locations

Oxford

Agatha and Wilbur are staying in one of the colleges at Oxford university.

The Factory

The factory is built in the Egyptian Revival art deco style. It was built on the former site of a chapel on the Cavendish Estate, and has its own shuttle line to the railway station.

The factory was designed and built by the Emmett Works Co. on behalf of Stjohn Cavendish, who wanted to consolidate his presence in the pork pie industry. Animals and materials are delivered by train; the animals are slaughtered on site and then processed immediately into pies and pork products.

💡 Note: This map uses Mansions of Madness 2nd Edition tiles, but this isn't necessary.

Factory layout

The House

An old stately home on a country estate.

All the usual Cluedo rooms.

💡 Note: This map uses Mansions of Madness 2nd Edition tiles, but this isn't necessary.

House layout

The Tunnel

Tunnel from the house to the factory.

Tunnel layout

The secret door should be very hard to find and almost impossible to open unless you have found Emmett's journal which explains it and the ritual.

The Ritual Chamber

Secret tunnels accessible from the main tunnel but hidden. Secret ritual chamber.

The appearance is the same as that of the lower chamber described in Miriam's journal since it follows the same design. Drains from the factory above flow into ducts which bring blood to a central point.

This is where the statue needs to go in order to perform the ritual of banishment.

If you have the spell and the statue and get here, Miriam will attack! You must race to complete the ritual whilst fending her off and resisting the influence of the Entity.

The Deep Tunnels

Warren of tunnels off the main tunnel. Entrance not obvious. Hard to navigate -- like potholing. Ghoul burrow is somewhere off here but should be very hard to find; the 'intended' showdown with Miriam is during the ritual to banish the entity.

Domesday

Village where the workers' barracks is located.

Melton Mowbray

Town famous for its pies.

Melton Mowbray Police Station

The cop shop in Melton Mowbray. This is where Emmett (or anyone else arrested) will be taken.

The Prison

Prison near leicester where Miriam was supposedly hanged. The investigaters may choose to go here and look around.

💡 Note: We didn't go here.

Plot

Oxford, Morning, 22nd December, 1933

Perhaps the investigators are doing their Christmas shopping before returning to their lodgings.

This is a chance to flesh out why they are here and what they are like.

On your return, you find the central heating is broken (or perhaps there is a water leak.) It cannot be repaired before Christmas! Drat! Soon after, the phone rings. It is Geoffrey Butler, the butler to Stjohn Cavendish. His master has heard of you, and insists you join him at his estate for Christmas -- he fears for his life and has need of your expertise. He suspects the danger to be supernatural in nature.

Prepare to travel to the estate and arrange travel.

Train to Leicester, Morning, 23rd December, 1933

Get the train to Melton Mowbray. Change at Leicester.

The train races through countryside that is blanketed in thick snow, though the sun is shining and the sky is clear.

Arrive in Melton Mowbray around 1PM, to be met by Butler in a car. Any other investigaters who arrived in a different way will also be here. Butler drives you all to the factory office of Stjohn Cavendish.

Cavendish Works, Afternoon, 23rd December, 1933

You are dropped at the entrance.

💡 Describe the factory. It's an imposing building in the Egyptian Revival art deco style, with ornate collonades and reliefs and statues of pigs.

The door is open and you can talk to the receptionist. Most of the factory is off limits.

You are ushered upstairs to Stjohn's office. It is an ornately furnished room, full of contemporary furniture and Egyptian antiquities. Stjohn sits behind a large walnut desk, and gestures for you to sit. He explains his concerns:

You can press him on the circumstances of her death. He will tell you what he knows.

Handout: Newspaper covering Miriam's death

If you attempt to leave the foyer the receptionist will attempt to stop you and summon stout lads if you persist.

The apartment upstairs (where Recalcitrance lives) is marked as off limits and is locked.

When you are done, Butler will collect you and take you to the house.

Cavendish House, Afternoon-Evening, 23rd December, 1933

Jeffers conveys you to the Cavendish House, which is a large Georgian manor house. Dinner will be served at 7pm. Where has Wilbur got to? Poirot goes off to his room.

Agatha can go to her room and unpack her stuff and talk to Wilbur. She might sneakily have a look round or make preparations, but she does not have long.

Dinner

At 7pm the dinner gong sounds; everyone should proceed to the dining room.

Place all the family and guests in the dining room. Recalcitrance is present for this - but Barry is hiding in Emily's room. Agatha and Poirot can ask questions over dinner, and characters will chime in with conversation points pertinent to themselves.

Eventually, somebody notices that Stjohn's prize statue is missing! He is furious, and after much kerfuffle requests Agatha and Poirot search the house. Someone e.g. Junior remarks that everyone hated that damned thing anyway. Recalcitrance has stolen it and hidden it in his apartment, which he did via the tunnels.

Can search the house and interview suspects

Points of interest

Night

After the search is complete, everyone goes to bed. At midnight, you are awoken by a bloodcurdling scream!

The scream came from Stjohn's room. You should probably investigate! He comes running out, half dressed, shouting 'Miriam!'. When he calms down, he explains he awoke in a state of paralysis and saw Miriam standing over him, her face angry and deathly pale. He managed to scream, at which point she vanished. There is no trace of a presence anywhere - but Miriam's office has been ransacked! Nothing has actually been taken though.

Junior suspects the locals.

Reginald is hysterical and pours himself a large drink.

Emily thinks it was all in his head.

You should probably check the doors etc and then return to bed. Perhaps it was all in his head?

Morning, 24th December, 1933

Agatha can decide what to investigate and where to go:

That evening at dinner, there are some suspicious absences.... Emmett is at work too.

Cavendish House, Midnight, 24th December 1933

The murder!

You are again awoken by a scream. (Assuming you went to bed - if you lay in wait, then perhaps you were mesmerised by Miriam, or you heard the scream from elsewhere.)

This time the scream is cut short by a sickening gurgle and a loud crash, a bestial shriek, animalistic snarling, and the sounds of frenetic violence being done. The noises come from the foyer.

In the foyer is Stjohn's mangled body. There is blood everywhere. On the walls there is blood. On the ceiling, blood. His head has been pulled from his body and the rest of him has been torn to pieces. He is covered in blood. On examination you can see that great bloody chunks seemingly have been bitten from him. On close examination (a good roll) you can see that this was the work of a human jaw but with canine teeth. Bloody footprints lead away from the body towards the wine cellar. Elsewhere in the house, Miriam's study has again been ransacked. Notebooks are scattered prominently - unless you found them before.

On the floor of the wine cellar is the silver key. This unlocks the secret door to the tunnels - which you might have located already via a good spot hidden roll, or you might need to search for it. This time there is a trail of blood leading to a wall so it should be easier to find.

If you follow, you can enter the tunnels. The tunnels run from the house to the factory. The silver keys works at this end too. The deep tunnels are behind another secret door down there; its unlikely you will find it without a good light source and time to look around. This is where Miriam has dug her burrow.

If you follow the tunnel you will end up in the factory, which throws some suspicion on Emmett! This is how he stole the statue. You might want to interrogate him and search his apartment. Someone should have called the police - you might do this with Inspector Japp if you wait long enough.

In Emmett's apartment, you might find

He does not yet know about Miriam - he believes the Hunger is what caused her to go mad, but he doesn't know she survived. The evidence against him is probably strong enough for Japp to arrest him and take the statue as evidence.

Cavendish House, Morning, 25th December 1933

Christmas! Walter and Agatha exchange gifts. Perhaps she bought one for Poirot too!

What do you do next?

Tonight Miriam will assault the police station to get the statue (or Emmett's apartment if it is still there.)

Remainder

At this point all the pieces should be in place, either you find Miriam and seal away the hunger or you will be hunted down and killed. Or you can run away and everyone at the house will die.

Emmett's Journal

Make a handout

Miriam's Journal

Found in Emmett's Desk. In cryptic shorthand. Each handout takes some time to decipher from the journal. It should not be possible for the investigators to obtain all of the information too early, but they should be able to get it all by the time they need it, so adjust the difficulty based on when the journal is found.

💡 Note: There is perhaps too much material here and it might be best to cut it down.

Handout: 1925-26, Day 48

Day 48 of the dig. We have already learned so much, yet we have barely scratched the surface! And I mean this quite precisely. Yesterday, we discovered a vertical shaft, about 100 feet in diameter. A ramp would have originally spiralled down, yet the woodwork has long since decayed. I will need to secure additional funds in order to further plumb the depths, yet I cannot resist the lure of the unknown -- tomorrow, I will descend the shaft on a rope, using a winch powered by our diesel engine. The shaft descends almost to the extent of our longest rope, but we are in luck; I can just about make it. I will make what explorations and sketches as I can before my electric torch is exhausted and then return to finish our work on the upper level.

Speaking of which, I already have enough material for at least two papers, perhaps more. From the objects and remains that we found, we can determine some of the nature of the society that left them along with a little of their history. The tunnel complex stems from before Roman or Ptolemaic rule, and it would seem what lies below is even older. The religion being practised here seems of a type with ancient Egyptian religions, such as we know of them, though the fixation on the pig is unusual -- absent are the sorts of animal typically venerated by the ancients. Disturbingly, from human remains we have examined, it is clear that these people at one point or another practised cannibalism -- human bite marks and signs of cooking are evident on some of the bones. The remains were not simply cast aside, but were found arranged in a sort of ossuary, curiously intermixed with those of swine, perhaps as part of some religious practice.

Amongst the objects scattered in the tunnels, of particular note are a small statue which depicts a man and a woman with the heads of pigs, bearing a chalice from either side, and several stone tablets covered in the indecipherable glyphs of an unknown language.

From an examination of the masonry at the entrance, and of human remains found on the upper level -- which bear the traces of violence done with weapons, and some of which possess curiously canine teeth -- we have determined that the cult was put to the sword and consigned to oblivion during the Islamic conquest of Egypt in the 7th century. I hope that tomorrow's survey of the depths will provide further insight.

Handout: Day 49

Entry 1

Blast and damnation! Those gutless fools at the University have informed us that we have to stop our work at once! The site must be sealed immediately and no-one is to be allowed access. I am to attend a meetring this afternoon, where I intend to demand an explanation for this outrage! I have sequestered the statue I found, along with the best preserved of the cryptic stone tablets, with my luggage -- my work with those, at least, will continue.

Entry 2

Met with the Dean of my institution, along with two individuals claiming to be members of a secret society of scholars at Al-Azhar University. They say that they are guardians of of secret knowledge passed down from hundreds of years ago when the university was a centre of philosophical learning under the Fatimid Caliphate. When the vast library of the university was burned by Saladin, they preserved certain arcane manuscripts which were deemed too precious -- or too dangerous -- to be lost. Among these is a journal dating to the 7th century, which speaks of an underground cult of pig-eaters, whose excesses had developed into cannibalism, and whose language would afflict the reader or speaker with an insatiable hunger. They were put to the sword by brave men who blindfolded themselves and sealed their ears with wax so as not to be swayed by the cult's devilish whisperings. Neverthless, the legends tell of those who heard the eldritch words of that accursed tongue, or who attempted translations of it, who found themselves cursed. The strongest of these sealed themselves in stone chambers, there to perish, lest they give in to what they called 'the hunger'. Those who did not do so were consumed by it, and stories tell of the 'ghouls' who roam at night and feast on the flesh of the dead.

Clearly, this is no more than a lurid superstition, and I will argue most stridently for the re-opening of the site! For now, I will return to England, consult experts on languages, and work on my papers.

Handout: 2 Months Later

Gave a lecture today at the British Museum with my preliminary findings, trying to drum up interest. Made quite a stir! Am in constant correspondance with the University, trying to get them to find their nerve, and things appear to be moving in our favour! I pulled a few strings at the foreign office and the secret scholars have been arrested for sedition; it looks like we will be able to go ahead.

Handout: 1 week later

Have received an anonymous letter titled 'beware the translations!' They are attempting to throw me off! Either this is one ofo the remaining secret scholars who slipped the net, or one of my rivals has found out about them and is attempting the same thing! No matter, I will continue! I must return to Egypt.

Handout: 1 month later

Egypt. We have re-opened the dig site. Things are as we left them thanks to the guards we posted at the entrance. We will continue our survey -- I have secured a grant from my alma mater Miskatonic University and have used it to purchase the supplies and labour necessary to expand our operation beyond the bottom of the great shaft. We have electric light and power, winches and climbing gear. Tomorrow, I make the initial descent.

Handout: next day

Numerous tunnels head off from the shaft at different levels. Of these, I have explored two, both of which were small chambers of unclear function. Another tunnel had collapsed, being blocked by fallen masonry. At the very bottom of the shaft, I made a most marvellous find -- a grand entrance flanked by pig-headed statues. Through this doorway, I entered what appeared to be a vast sacrificial chamber, containing a stone altar and channels in the floor leading to a series of drains -- evoking the Roman practice of augury. Beneath this chamber, accessed via a stairway, is another chamber of similar size, with ducts leading to a central pedestal -- perhaps a place for the priest or sacred receptacle to receive the blood from above. On my way back through the shaft, I made what could be my most significant find. An intact stone tablet, containing Arabic and Coptic inscriptions in addition to the strange language we have encountered elsewhere. I enclose sketches of the temple layout. (These are enclosed).

Note: if you know the factory plans you can see it follows the same layout as the sacrificial chamber

Handout: 2 months later, England

I have left the dig in the capable hands of my team, and have returned to England bearing the new tablet. The Arabic text was translated for me thus:

This is the home of the people
who are delivered from their hunger
by the flesh of swine
long may these words be its prison

the tablet appears to be a multilingual sign that would have been displayed at the entrance. Its message is rather banal -- though on reading the words I must admit a stirring within me -- but a comparison between the arabic, the coptic and the original text should allow us to unlock other secrets as did the Rosetta stone for ancient Egyptian. I will redouble my efforts with the original tablets armed with new knowledge.

Handout: December 1926, England

As I unlock the secrets of the tablets, I have become certain that the warnings of the scholars, which I had dismissed as so much foolishness, were terrifyingly correct. Each night I am wracked by dreams of bloody slaughter, and each day I draw no nourishment from food save for meat. I dare not spend time amongst other people lest I lose control; I am confined now to my study. My one glimmer of hope is in the continuing translation of the tablets -- the ancients were afflicted with this same hunger, yet they had developed techniques and rituals with which to suppress it. These measures eventually failed, but they bought considerable time. And the tablets hint at a great ritual to imprison the hunger forever, using their language itself as its prison...

Handout: May 1927

I feel a great clarify in my mind -- how foolish and ignorant I was before! Such sights have I beheld in my dreams...

(the remainder is nonsense, until...)

𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍

(A series of unintelligible signs in an unknown language. You feel hunger stirring within you. 1/d3 horror.)

Spells

Mesmerise

This is Dominate from the CoC rulebook.

Opposed POW roll.

Miriam controls your actions. She has to look into your eyes in order to initiate but from then on the link is psychic. Must recast each round.

Contain the Hunger

This is Dismiss Deity from the CoC rulebook.

The Hunger has POW300, so 12MP is necessary to open the way.

Cost: 1MP per participant Casting time: 1 round per participant

Hunger can attempt Mesmerise whilst being dismissed.

Each further MP sacrificed increases dismissal chance by 5%.

Adversaries

Miriam

Ghoul with Mesmerise.

Could be accompanied by other ghouls or have stats buffed as needed.

She can mesmerise any number of people so she could be assisted by mind-controlled humans.

The Entity

Use stats for something big e.g. Yog Sothoth. But it can't physically manifest. It will try to control you during the ritual so you must resist its POW.